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FREEDOM Eyebrow Pomade Review


So were talkin' eyebrows...


This is my 2nd pot of the Freedom Brown Pomade and feel quite caught up on how this little pot of putty holds up to brow shaping and framing. 

*YOU CAN SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM FOR A QUICK LOW DOWN VERSION IF YOU PREFER*

1. Price

BARGAIN ALERT BARGAIN ALERT!!
Previously £5.00 but now currently £2.50 on Revolutions Website. 

2. Colour Range 

Only 3 shades to offer (i believe due to the possible discontinuing maybe?)

Granite - Black (could be used as an eyeliner)
Chocolate - Dark Brown (My current shade)
Caramel Brown - A few shades lighter than chocolate (could work for a dark blonde) 




 3. Packaging

When purchased, your pomade arrives in a cute little cardboard box to then show your pomade in a compact, glass/plastic pot. Upon many times using, the writing can start to fade, but considering how many times my paws use this stuff, no wonder!

4. Formula

That first touch with your eyebrow brush of choice will feel a lot easier than the next few uses. After the first dip and the first layer removed, the product becomes a bit more stubborn, which means less slippage on the ol' brows. It's not super hard that you can't pick up any on your brush, but thick enough to not allow a messy application. 

After a while using the pomade you will notice it getting drier and drier, at this stage, each time before using i spritz a little setting spray to the pot to emulsify the product a touch. 

5. Application.

Thanks to the formula, you are able to glide the product onto your brow at your own pace. 
I've tried other brow products where you need to act fast before it dries up or conversely, have it practically dripping off my brow. This is a happy medium, I am able to glide the pomade onto my brow with applying a smooth application from the front to the tail end. 

It's also easy to clean up, if your hand slips and it ends up on your nose, no problemo, a quick wipe with a cotton pad or lets face it your finger (so much easier) and it's gone. 

6. Longevity.

If you were to wipe your fingers across your brows mid afternoon just after a yawn, chances are your gonna be one brow down. It's not glue, but it doesn't move with sweat and rain. Just as long as you try to go gentle when touching them, your going to be safe with your brows lasting as long as you need them too. 

7. Feel.

When applied to the brows, there's no tacky, sticky, heavy, clumpy feeling thank goodness!
AND BEST OF ALL no CRISPY brows!

8. Amount of Product. 

With 2.5g it lasts bloooooooomin ages!!
I had my first pot for 2 years+ and had to part ways when spritzing with setting spray didn't moisten it enough for me. Sad times. 


Where can it be purchased?

Right here on Revolutions website

Anything similar?

Although never tried, i believe the most similar if not same product has now been released under Revolutions brand name, with loads more shade options which you can find here  for £5-£6. 

Would I purchase again?

Absolutely. Although i have a faint feeling FREEDOM as a brand has submerged into Revolution so maybe there's going to be one day in the future i'll no longer be able to get my hands on it! 
*my brows go into meltdown*

...

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to read my post and can't wait to chat soon!

Love, Emilie xx


THE LOW DOWN

Cruelty Free

Vegan

Gluten Free

2.5g of Product

Lasts for YONKS

Last all day on the brows

Easy to apply

Compact

Creamy but not too creamy

Affordable 







Journalling Ideas: What are 3 new hobbies you would like to enjoy?

Image from Pinterest 


1. Swimming. 

I all for it. Since the gyms have reopened, i'm considering getting on sports direct and ordering myself a waterproof swim hat and some swimming shoes. It's getting serious :O I love the idea of swimming as exercise. To me, it's so different to what i normally do working out and feels fun and before you know it your out of breath and you have ACTUALLY exercised. 

The only thing that has put me off in the past is these 3 things:

- i'm not a strong swimmer. The only way i can get better is to get going!

- All the faff of getting ready in a squished cubicle with wet hair. Hence the waterproof cap idea. I know i might look like i have all the gear and no idea but if it saves me having to wash my hair and damage it with the chlorine then on that hat goes. 

- Winter = cold. Coming out of the baths with wet hair, a damp body because i'm usually in a rush to get home and showered at this point and freezing! This coming winter i have a super thick coat so that will conquer the cold and my swim hat yet again is just becoming more and more a good idea!


2. Knitting. 

My mother and auntie in law are huge knitters and they are always inspiring me to have a go at it. They have given me needles, wool and motivation but i always start. stop. start. stop. I've got some amazing dark grey wool in my wardrobe that i would love to make a chunky scarf for the autumn winter. I love that i could produce something to wear with my own 2 hands and what are practically chop sticks.


3. Ariel and Pole Dancing

I want to act like i'm in a circus show and twissle around some ribbon. I would imagine it would need some core strength and i could only imagine what strength you would build too!

Pole dancing is always something i've loved the look of. I've heard it's AMAZING exercise and again, with it including dancing and technique, i'd be concentrating so much on that, not noticing session by session my 6 pack is forming! 

Journalling Ideas: What are 3 things you are grateful for today?



1. The view. 

As i sit here typing these words, i can turn to my left and see trees.
Louis Armstrongs - Trees of green will no doubt be stuck in my head for the foreseeable day, but instead of red roses, i can see a peep of lavender hydrangeas. 

I've been trying to google the correct same of the hugeee trees I can see beside me but instead of finding the exact word, i'm going to describe it as a MASSIVE Christmas tree...
You can see where the past few days of sunshine has scorched some of the ever green leaves but to me, it adds more depth, more of an autumnal look which i love. 


2. My new favourite app... Alarmy. 

One of my favourite videos to watch on youtube is morning routines. Especially if i feel in a slump with my own, i find watching these types of videos give me inspiration. One of the videos i watched a gorgeous lady Lyn Allure, shared she has used this app for years and has been the main help to get her up early. 

It's a free app, you can set your alarm just like normal but you can choose to do certain tasks before you can stop it. I opt out of the snooze option and have swapped it for a memory game, maths solutions or to even take a picture of a barcode from a recipe book in my kitchen. Before i know it, my mind has been given a task to forget about snoozing the alarm and so far it's really helping me to wake up early to seize my day. This morning for example, i was awake and out of bed for 7:30 which is VERY unusual for me. 


3. I get to see my mom today.

YAY! I try and see my mom at least once a week. I hop on the bus for about a 20 minute journey and we spend the day together. The past few weeks we have been organising her garage thats filled with YEARS worth of our family stuff. The Marie Kondo in me has loved it! 

Today, i'm going to do a little more organising with her but mainly help her put the last piece of wallpaper up in her living room to make it complete. 

I wasn't able to visit during lockdown for reasons we all know why. But now, i had no doubt who was going to be the first person in my bubble. My beautiful mommy bear. She is my best friend and to not be able to physically see her for months, like so many others was so so hard. But now, i am so grateful she is a bus journey away and we can spend a lovely day together. 



Journalling Ideas: What do you love most about your life?

image from Pinterest


The people who are in it. 

I could have been born into another family, at a different time, in another country opposites sides of the world from where i am now. In another century... and yet here i am. Here i am in 2020 with my family that consist of a number of uncles, aunties, cousins, 2nd cousins, great aunties, my mom, a husband, brothers, sisters in laws, nieces, nephews, not forgetting all the furry animals in my life and each one of them is someone who i love. Friends who you may as well include as family, friend of friends, friends of family members who we see once a year at Christmas gatherings. All of these people i have a connection with. 

I was thinking the other day of different kinds of love you have for people. Friends for example. You meet them sometimes super randomly, sometimes through other friends you have and you build a connection, a friendship from scratch. You make that connection of love from the relationship you have. I was looking at that difference to those of family members. Do you just love them or SAY you love them because they are related? Because they have came into your life through someone else you know? Are you expected to just love them let alone LIKE them?

For me, personally. I feel like the love i have for my family members is a natural instinct. For blood relatives alone, i feel an instant connection with them. We share the same cells & DNA so how could I not feel an instant connection with them. Do i just love my brothers because they are my brothers? No. Similar to friends, i have obviously grew up with them and learnt things about them that have made me fall in love with them, but at the same time, if i had spent zero time with them over the years, i believe i still would have this undeniable love for them. A solid connection that we are related, we are bonded for life. 

I have just also realised whilst re-reading this back, that one of the many reasons of this natural instinct is because we can see a lot of ourselves in them. I can see physical and emotional traits like that of myself. My eldest brother nick. The way he presents himself and the things he says mirrors so much to me. Simon, his humour and emotions are so a-like with mine it's crazy. 
They might see this differently when they look at me and each other. But that's my perception. That's one of the reasons i have based my love for them. You feel instantly connected and attached to someone who is like to yourself. You know you will get on with them a lot easier than someone whose completely opposite... more than likely. 
You spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with yourself, your soul and mind. Someone who shows even a slightest little similarity to you, it's a little spark that pings from your heart saying, your a little like me. Your my squishy :') (Any Finding Nemo lovers, high 5)
That connection has been made. 

I cannot believe when i look at my life. How many collections i have in my friendship and family real life album. When i think about each and everyone of them and why and how we have this bond, it astounds me. 

 My life has been capable of finding these people, naturally or randomly. That's what i love the most. That's what truly makes me happy. 


P.s I cannot forget how to mention one of the most loved drinks in my life for currently 26 and a half years... a hot cup of tea. x






June Favourites 2020

Let's not remind ourselves how many months it has been since i last popped up a blog post. *Elephant in the room shouts.... SINCE OCTOBER*
Yep, October. My October favourites. I've just counted how many months that's been... has it really been 8?!?! 8 months? gosh. wow. Let's get straight into what i have been loving in June and get right back into this! 

1. Pushing through trying times. 




I don't think i have updated you since, but as of December last year, i started an actual job. After being practically unemployed for 2 years before, with the odd job here and there, i was now in the working world. Not only gaining a new job but also realising the terror of anxiety that came along with it. 

Having OCD, i'm no stranger to some heart flutters and panic but boy oh boy. I had never in my LIFE experienced agonising mental health than that i did last December. That story i'll share at a different time. But i wanted to mention this because after working 6 months and being so strong, the start of June brought all of Decembers feeling back again. 

Why on earth would this be a favourite? Well going through this again, albeit not AS bad as the start of job, but hard enough to make me think i could not do it anymore, i realised that I can. That's what my favourite has been. Knowing that i can work through it, i can go past it. Not let anxiety rule over me & make me leave ANOTHER job, make me feel in-superior, worthless, give me agonising tremors. I have come out of that, feeling stronger than ever with the help of self help books and mainly my husband, who reminds me of everything that we learned from the start of the year to get through this.

I am so beyond proud of myself, that i've got through another hard time in my life and it's given me so much hope, knowing i've got another notch (experience) on my belt to look back and learn from if/when my anxiety flares up again. 

2. Fresh Flowers. 




Walking into Aldi with my reusable bags in the crook of my arm, i first of all see the abundance of flowers there before me. I love to see whats in season and with a quick search on google to make sure my desired blooms aren't toxic to my little cat, a fresh bouquet of flowers are the first gently placed item in the trolley. 

My favourites so far have been the beauuuuutiful fluffy stocks that came in a blackcurrant shade and the bright summer sunflowers that sat proudly on my kitchen windowsill for all public passer-byers eyes to catch, and hopefully make their day a little brighter. 

3. 2020 Diary 



Unlike me, i went through a few weeks where i wasn't using my diary as much. I usually LOVE to open my diary, grab some pastel highlighters and get filling up my days with the neatest writing i can create, showing me at the end of the week, i have been somewhat productive. 

In June i quickly snapped back into the writing and highlighting mode. Drawing little boxes next to my medication chart ready to tick, starting the long list of jobs i'd like to get done that week, admittedly moving some over from the previous week that i did not complete. Planning out that weeks youtube videos, completing a brief description of that nights meal for future reference.... When i am active with my diary, i feel a piece of me is complete. I have something to be accountable for, even if it is just ticking a box complete.



Want to see more?
There's a video on my youtube channel ready to view. I included different favourites for your ears and eyes to discover. Why don't you grab a cup of tea and start to watch...?





Thank you for sharing your time with me today to see what June as brought along for me to become a fan of.

See you soon, 

Love, Emilie x




Benefit Cookie Highlighter Review


Who even am I? A benefit boxed highlighter? I never thought i would see the day. 

A benefit highlighter goes passed my everyday budget to spend on a piece of makeup but as this was in a bundle from a left over xmas set a boots, i could not let it pass. 

Let's delve into benefits highlighter - cookie.

Did I know this existed until perusing boots website? No. Heard much about it? Nope. 
Do you need to hear about it? YES!! 

*YOU CAN SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM FOR A QUICK LOW DOWN VERSION IF YOU PREFER* 


1. Packaging

I love the uniqueness of benefit boxed products. The way they can stand out in your collection for all those circle and square shaped blusher, it just grabs my attention

Cookie, features a drawn model featuring the same shades of the highlighter, which is a cute touch. 

You might think a box blush would be flimsy but in fact feels quite sturdy. The open and close mechanism is rather satisfying. 
It opens with a smooth sweep and when closing, tucks in nicely with a hidden magnet, this will help if it ends up in a makeup from opening and smushing against your mascara. 

2. Shade

Benefit describe it has a golden-pearl... a soft gold shimmer
I do agree, but also would add that it has a peachy hue too. It's your classic champagne shade with a glint of peach in certain lights. Even it certain lights it could pass as an ivory silver tone


3. Formula
PIG-MEN-TED. 
As dua lipa would say...one touch is all it take, to take my breath away. 
A little intimate touch of the finger picks up the product effortlessly


4. Application.
Hard to work with? Even though its so pigmented, its so easy to work with. 
A little dab of the product can go a long way but can be blended out to a subtle hint on the skin. On the other hand, you can go HAM and build that baby up and shine to the heavens.

5. Look
It is so finely milled that on the skin it looks effortless, fluent on the skin. No chunky particles that give of an unnatural look. The butteriness of the highlighter glides over the skin making it look soft and silky. With cookie catching different shades in certain lights, i do believe this would suit every skin tone. With it having a silver tone, it would suit the palest of skins but with it having a peachy tone too, it would to the deepest of tones and all in between.


6. Longevity
Being so pigmented, it lasts on the skin until your doing your deep cleanse.
With it being so silky, the product almost melts and meshes with your bases products and locks in until it's time to remove. 

7. Amount of product

You receive 8g of pure delight. 

8. Extras

I've noticed benefit always go above and beyond with their fine details, when purchasing you get a cute little pamphlet giving you a demo of how to apply. 

A brush that fits perfectly inside the product. I don't keep this in the box itself, i find that when i go it has scrape against the highlighter, uplifting the product and ends up with product all of the applicator. I don't think it would be completely useful for blush, but for highlighter, its quite a nice shape for a dusting on the cheekbones. 

My favourite is the cute little mirror. Not one you could do your whole makeup routine in, but definitely one those mirrors you forget you have with you and then happily realise benefit have done you could and provided the goods. 

Where can I purchase and how much is it going to cost me?

You can purchase it right here... CLICK ME
for £27.00.


Anything similar? 

I have found an amazing drugstore dupe if your not wanting to splurge today... 
Wet and Wilds MegaGlow Highlighter in Previous Petals 

Would I recommend?

YES! Especially if you like to collect benefits boxed products. Albeit i know it's pricey, but the quality of the formula is outstanding & you really know your getting a highlighter thats going to last as long as you need it too and look natural, glossy and shining. 


THE LOW DOWN

unique but sturdy packaging

silky soft formula

pigmented

long lasting

unique shade with pearl, peach, gold/silvery hues

applies effortlessly

comes with mirror and brush

cute design 

8g of product



Thank you so much for joining me today, why not check out another post? You'll find some suggested below just for you :')

Lots of love, Emilie x





















October Favourites

Oh my hat, it's been a hot minute since i last uploaded a monthly favourites post and boy have i missed them. 
I won't bore you with the ins and outs on why i have missed the past oooft has it been 3 months? So lets swiftly move on to what i have been loving lately...



1. Z Nation

Zombies. Comedy. Thrill. Loveable characters. Gripping Storyline it has it all.
The first episode in, we knew we was in for a treat. If your a fan of Zombie films/series then i think your going to LOVE Z Nation. Each episode has a different story whilst sticking on track with the main plot. The characters just make the WHOLE show. Can Doc please be my real life friend please? And the zombie side of things isn't too scary. It has a lil bit of thrill with some tongue in cheek comedy.


2. Autumn

Ohhhh my second favourite season has been upon us and showering down it's maple coloured leaves on us. 1st of October I sprinted to our radiator turning on system thingy-me-bob and turned that shizz right on! We ploughed through September, pushing the thought of the heating being turned on until October and you can bet your bottom dollar as soon as I flipped my calendar over to the 1st the heating bill risen. 



3. Weekly Vlogging

Yep, thats right. It's me, filming my week. Albeit it may be boring, it may be repetitive but hey ho, we have a laugh and make plenty cups of teas and declutter my stuff quite a lot and chit chats in between. 
I have been LOVING filming my days to have a natter with you guys and after having a week from not filming titbits of my week I have really missed it! Can't wait to get sharing my bed head and groggy morning voice again.
(I'm really selling this to you aren't i?!)

Here's some I made for the past few weeks if you fancy a ponder....










4. Family Time 

Richard has had over a week off from work and it has been wonderful having him home. Even just hearing him in the other room chatting to his playstation buddies or cursing at the game for being silly is just so nice to have him there. My little cat Cloud has adored snuggling up next to him and occasionally sauntered in to see what i'm up too. 

We didn't really get up to anything different, we have just got over the longest bloody lingering cold known to man so we just chilled for most of the week with an exciting outing to Aldi & a pit stop at  a bakery to pick up some naughty cakes whilst watching my next fave...




5. The Great British Bake Off.

Ohhhhh my year isn't complete without rushing to the tv at 8pm every Tuesday with a freshly made cuppa and a snack in the other to watch the bake off. Whenever i hear the into music... da dun dun dun, da dun dun dun, you know how it goes, i just instantly feel happy and content with life right there. 
Richard even watched every episode with me this year which is un heard of and just added to the family cosy times each week. 
It's all ended now though boohoo, but so happy with the final 3 <3 


Thank you so much for joining me today for a wee little catch up on the things i have been loving lately. I hope you are doing fab and can't wait to chat soon!

Love, Emilie xx











MAC LIPSTICK REVIEW IN SYRUP




After patiently collect 6 items from makeup to be empty, i took them on a little adventure to a MAC store where i was able to exchange them for a FULL SIZE lipstick. Waaaaaah?!

When you have 6 empty products from MAC you can do this thing called, BACK TO MAC. 
I presume it's a way of them being able to recycle the packaging as well as a great marketing strategy to lure customers to buy more to make up their total to get a free lippy. Genius! 

After many, many moments figuring out which lipstick to go for, i decided to opt away from the nudes and go for a gorgeous wearable everyday pink. 

Introducing... Syrup. 




No editing, just flash....




Hello my new little friend that i'm going to describe as my lip colour but that's a little bitter better!

It's the most gorgeous natural 'pink flush' shade that just washes over the lips.
This is only my second MAC lipstick and is a whole new formula from my Velvet Teddy. 
I must say, i love them both!

Syrup is a Lustre. It has that balmy look but with quite good last power. My favourite part about this shade is that as it wears, it tones down even more too such a gorgeous natural shade, it barely looks like your wearing anything, with just an added glint of colour to your lips.

Thank you so much for reading today's post & can't wait to chat soon.

Love, Emilie x

THE LOW DOWN

Lustre Formula

£17.50 or FREE when you BACK2MAC

Natural, flush of pink

Great lasting power

Fades gradually to a sweep of a flush pink shade

3g of product 







THE CURE FOR OCD? CHAPTER 6. WORLD MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS WEEK.




* I just wanted to pop a little disclaimer before you start to have a lil read that I am going to be mentioning a lot of my OCD triggers, I know that in the past, I have found it difficult to read what others go through as it would sometimes mirror onto myself, so i just wanted to let you know to forewarn you just incase x *


**If you would prefer to watch a video version of this post with more in depth about my OCD journey, I have a whole playlist uploaded on my youtube of previous OCD videos I have filmed, this is the link... https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQ8jW5x-QISE-nO2YXSW5sWg5X_I8FOli**


Chapter 6

Once we had finished working through this pyramid, Jennifer asked me where do I now see our sessions going. To be completely honest, towards the last few sessions, it was going that amazingly that i was wondering what we were to discuss next as i felt everything had been covered.
I realised that I had no other concerns, no other triggers I wanted to work through. I felt like my life had completely changed. Each time i walked out of those doctors surgery doors i smiled and was so excited to improve that coming week with my new challenges.

We decided to end our sessions after week 8 I believe. The last session we discussed about relapses, what to do if that happens, what could cause a relapse, how will i feel if it does, what will happen etc. We recapped on everything we discussed over the sessions and Jennifer is going to send me a pack of papers of everything we discussed so i can always look back to them if i need some encouragement.


There is so much more i could tell you about my therapy sessions. So so much more help that Jennifer helped me to see. I would love to keep writing 'little' posts like this to help you if you or you know someone who is struggling too.

The main reason i wrote this post today was to share my experience and what it that I have found to be a near complete cure to my OCD. Has it banished? No. Has it came back from day to day? Yes. Will it ever go away? Probably not. But i have never felt better. I never thought life could be like this. That this is how my life is without OCD holding me back.

I also wanted to share snippets of my thought records and maybe upload some in the future for me to have something to always work towards with my OCD. To keep on top of it. To maybe do weekly thought records and upload them to my blog so you can see the things i have had to tackle and give you some confidence that you can do it too and that your not alone.
It will help me out so much too. Having something i can look back on and seeing what I have accomplished will help for sure if i'm struggling with my OCD in the future. Knowing i have got through a similar situation before, i know will help me.

Thank you so so much for the taking the time to read my post today and i couldn't recommend speaking with your GP if you are going through OCD, anxiety, depression and ANY form of mental health! That's what they are there for and as soon as i visited my doctors and therapist, my whole life changed and i started my path to stop making OCD define me. (oh how cheesey hehe)

I would have popped it all in one post but it was sooooooo word heavy & I thought uploading a chapter daily might be easier to read & digest. So I've added all chapters to my dropdown menu under lifestyle, where you can find all chapters inside <3 

Thank you so so much taking the time out of your day to read my post.

I have been wanting to write a post about my OCD for a very long time but if you know anything at all about OCD, you will know how much information you can hold. It's so tricky to put it all into words sometimes and me being me, i do love to jabber sometimes haha!

Thank you so much again for reading and i do hope that this somewhat helped you or someone who you know. Even if it just gives you a little bit of hope that there could be a nugget of a cure out there for you to help you get through your journey. 


Lots of love,

Emilie x

THE CURE FOR OCD? CHAPTER 5. WORLD MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS WEEK.






* I just wanted to pop a little disclaimer before you start to have a lil read that I am going to be mentioning a lot of my OCD triggers, I know that in the past, I have found it difficult to read what others go through as it would sometimes mirror onto myself, so i just wanted to let you know to forewarn you just incase x *


**If you would prefer to watch a video version of this post with more in depth about my OCD journey, I have a whole playlist uploaded on my youtube of previous OCD videos I have filmed, this is the link... https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQ8jW5x-QISE-nO2YXSW5sWg5X_I8FOli**


Chapter 5

 About the third session in, after hearing my life story and the triggers i go through, she drew a pyramid and drew it into 4 sections i believe.
From the bottom we placed my triggers that aren't too bad, ones that didn't cause me too much discomfort, things like making sure the taps were off for example.

The next layer were ones that were a bit more challenging such as checking the plug sockets as well as checking the aerosols.

Next, i had checking the windows. I was so concerned that if i left a window open too wide, my little cat would jump out. Or making sure they were locked so no-one could break in. This was a big thing for me, I would go around the flat over and over again, checking they were locked or closed that little bit more.

The top layer was the most challenging, this was where i placed leaving my cat's fur somewhere. Or leaving something from where i am happy such as home, in a place i wasn't so happy, i.e on a bus.
I also had very intrusive thoughts when i looked at certain people. I don't judge people, it's not in my nature whatsoever to discriminate a person especially because of how they look. But my intrusive thoughts triggered me to believe that for example, a homeless person or someone who looked messy in appearance with poor hygiene... my brain went into auto and remembered programmes and films that I've watched where children, adults were kidnapped, murdered, assaulted and more often that not those criminals looked a little like these people i would pass on a street.

So when i looked at these ones, i would instantly have the most soul destroying thoughts that something bad would happen. That someone i love would be murdered, kidnapped, raped, mugged, attacked and so on. I have a big imagination by nature and this added with OCD just made everything so realistic in my mind.
So, to combat this, like when i was at school, i would look at this person again and delete the thought i just had. Literally repeat the word delete in my head so that thought wouldn't really happen. I would usually also delete these thoughts by imagining I was kidnapped, raped etc. I would rather the thought of it happening to me rather than someone i love. It was just horrific to conjure up in my mind.

So because of this, whenever i went outside, when constantly seeing people around me, equalled constantly thinking these disgusting thoughts. That's why i was so put off from leaving the flat.

So with this pyramid. Jennifer suggested we start off with little tests. Starting from the mildest and working our way towards the more challenging.

This worked incredibly well.
I started to concentrate when i checked the taps. Instead of ''checking'' them whilst thinking about my next thing to check. I made sure to really focus on them being off. This helped so much.

Next level up, plugs and aerosols. Liked i mentioned earlier, learning more info about these things worked wonders. As well as making sure i concentrate on them whilst checking them once worked out well also.

Checking the windows. This took a little longer but each and every time it got easier and easier. My brother in law told me a fantastic 'hack'. Film yourself checking them. This is so helpful to begin with until you can start getting better and you find your OCD easing. If you doubt yourself throughout the day, if you've locked the windows, just look back to the video on your phone.
I did this as well as again, concentrating when i checked the windows, taking my time to realise that they were locked and gradually i kept getting better. Now i check them once and that's it.

The biggy.
My biggest fears becoming a test.

At this point after discussing with Jennifer about connections with my triggers and my cats fur for example, we tried over the weeks little tests to build me up to leaving the chunk of fur in the bag. When i was outside, i would just naturally pick fluff off my clothes (from my cat sitting on them lol) and just let it go in the air, at first, i found it tricky but each and every time gave me encouragement to do it again.
This led me to leaving the chunk of fur in the bag, leaving a jacket in the gym locker over night with fur all on it and collected it the next day. I even took a jacket full of fur into my old workplace and left it there with them over night. They were so supportive as they know all about my OCD. They helped me out with my problems whilst working there and really catered my work around my OCD for me. I never hung my coat up at work there, always folded it into my bag so no fur what fall off into the staff room, i always took my apron home so if any fur went onto it, i wouldn't be leaving fur there. So the fact I ACTUALLY LEFT MY JACKET FULL OF FUR there OVERNIGHT was just an incredible feeling.

As regards to looking at people. When me and Jennifer discussed this, Jennifer helped me remember when i felt terrible about these thoughts, that it's not me. It's not in my personality to think like this about these people. It's just the intrusive thoughts. We also discussed about connections and responsibility. Just because i thought these things, wouldn't bring them to fruition. It wouldn't make them happen. For something so so terrible to happen, a person would have to plan the attack, have a reason etc and just by me looking at them isn't going to cause that. I also came to the realisation that a rapist, a kidnapper, a thief doesn't always look like these people the tv has made me to believe. It could be a woman, a child, a teenager, a man dressed smartly in a suit. Once i realised this, my whole view point changed. I was then able to focus on what my personality actually feels when i see these people. A homeless person for example, i'm able to look at them with compassion, take them a drink and some biscuits.

I would have popped it all in one post but it was sooooooo word heavy & I thought uploading a chapter daily might be easier to read & digest. So I've added all chapters to my dropdown menu under lifestyle, where you can find all chapters inside <3 

Thank you so so much taking the time out of your day to read my post.

I have been wanting to write a post about my OCD for a very long time but if you know anything at all about OCD, you will know how much information you can hold. It's so tricky to put it all into words sometimes and me being me, i do love to jabber sometimes haha!

Thank you so much again for reading and i do hope that this somewhat helped you or someone who you know. Even if it just gives you a little bit of hope that there could be a nugget of a cure out there for you to help you get through your journey. 


Lots of love,


Emilie x






THE CURE FOR OCD? CHAPTER 4. WORLD MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS WEEK.




* I just wanted to pop a little disclaimer before you start to have a lil read that I am going to be mentioning a lot of my OCD triggers, I know that in the past, I have found it difficult to read what others go through as it would sometimes mirror onto myself, so i just wanted to let you know to forewarn you just incase x *


**If you would prefer to watch a video version of this post with more in depth about my OCD journey, I have a whole playlist uploaded on my youtube of previous OCD videos I have filmed, this is the link... https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQ8jW5x-QISE-nO2YXSW5sWg5X_I8FOli**

Chapter 4 

Near the beginning of our sessions, Jennifer gave me a sheet of paper. A sheet of paper with blocked columns that were titled...

Situation, Moods (Feelings/Emotions), Automatic Thoughts, Physical Sensations and Behaviour.


This was a record of my daily thoughts. If i had a situation where i felt my OCD was controlling me, I were to write it down (of course if i was comfortable to do so. I did at the start of my sessions worry what i wrote on paper, if i wrote anything bad, a word, a scenario, my intrusive thoughts would bombard my brain and tell me that, THAT now will actually happen now i have written it down. Upon dealing this with Jennifer, again realising there is no connection between ink being printed and something happening, I was able to then write things down without concern) I was to write down what the situation was, how i felt etc. Here's what I wrote as my first record...








Here's a more detailed thought record about 4-5 weeks into my sessions










At the start of my sessions, i would never never ever consider not de-furring the clothes before giving them away let alone putting a big chunk of my cat's fur into a bag of clothes that's going to be recycled!! That would have been my worst nightmare. My emotional rate would have been 100% plus a bajillion!!

But after just a few weeks of realising that the fur from my cat isn't connected to bad things happening, that the fur is not connected to my cat anymore, that she doesn't care about it, doesn't give it a second thought, made me realise why should I? Rather than concentrating on intrusive thoughts bombarding my brain that I'll be leaving a piece of my cat in a bad place, that something bad will happen to her, that a piece of her is left somewhere i don't want it to be, somewhere that makes me unhappy, I started to realise that even though a piece might be left somewhere with intension or not, it will make no connection whatsoever to my cat. It's a piece of fur. It doesn't hold power to make things happen. It's now an empty thing that has no connection whatsoever. I also realised that mine and my cats relationship didn't change. I would forget all about that fur once i'm home with her ( no doubt creating more fur from brushing her haha )

But just discussing and coming to a realistic, logical way of thinking, turned my 100% emotions down to a calmer 25%. Yes i was still concerned, but more of the fact it was so out of routine for me. I was so used to worrying and concerning about all of these things that, the main worry for me was not doing these things anymore, what would life now be like? It was so second nature to me that i could visualise what life would be like without these rituals and intrusive thoughts.

Knowing i have left a chunk of fluff in a bag, going to goodness knows where, encourages and reminds me that nothing has happened, nothing bad has happened, my cat loves me just the same, we still play with her toy mice and have a great time together. Remembering this, reminds me that I can now leave my cat's fur anywhere. It still should have the same effect just as it did with leaving it in the recycling bag.


Jennifer helped me lead myself up to this point.



I would have popped it all in one post but it was sooooooo word heavy & I thought uploading a chapter daily might be easier to read & digest. So I've added all chapters to my dropdown menu under lifestyle, where you can find all chapters inside <3 

Thank you so so much taking the time out of your day to read my post.

I have been wanting to write a post about my OCD for a very long time but if you know anything at all about OCD, you will know how much information you can hold. It's so tricky to put it all into words sometimes and me being me, i do love to jabber sometimes haha!

Thank you so much again for reading and i do hope that this somewhat helped you or someone who you know. Even if it just gives you a little bit of hope that there could be a nugget of a cure out there for you to help you get through your journey. 


Lots of love,


Emilie x